Keanu Reeves is the single worst actor in the history of film. I see a move with him in it, I run from it as if it were the plague. He's not even an actor. He is a single-faced, blank-eyed, empty-headed fucking mummy.

I don't mind Keanu in general, but I'm not interested in John Wick 4 mainly because I didn't really care much for the first 3 and think they are way over rated.

Mark Wahlberg is an even worse actor than Keanu imo. I remember reading somewhere that Wahlberg's reaction to seeing talking monkeys was akin to if someone had spilled orange juice on the floor.

Alien: Resurrection is my favorite Alien movie.

When Keanu is wrong for a part, he's really wrong. Dracula (1992) is my go-to example.

But I can't deny he's done movies I consider good to great: Speed, The Matrix (won't defend the 4th one though), John Wick (haven't seen the 4th yet). IMO the best Keanu movies might not have been quite as fun if they had cast someone else.

Anyway.

Bury the Bride - Spider One (Rob Zombie's brother) previously directed a barely hour-long anthology called Allegoria which I found surprisingly OK. His first full movie seems like a step back. Predictable setup, bland characters, standard dumb behavior by the villains and victims, and the whole thing is low budget to the point that even the credits look cheap. 4 / 10

Cocaine Bear - Watchable but not as fun as it should be with that title. Killer Klowns From Outer Space, this ain't. 5 / 10

Creed 2 - Solid. I'll watch Creed 3 but I don't know how they can top the emotional stakes of this one. 7 / 10

Keanu seems like such a nice guy in real life, but I almost never like his work. John Wick, I could never fully get into because the character just seemed too perfect, no real personality. I like the first Matrix kind of in spite of him, but the second and third ones were abysmal. Fourth one was a step above those.

Stuff I've seen lately...

Air - pretty decent all things considered, this being a movie about corporate ad execs and all. Ben Affleck and Chris Tucker do well and Matt Damon is a standout of it all - they get about as much depth as possible from it all, and the story shows the pull and influence ads have had over pretty much everything in our culture, better or worse. Script is snappy and fun.

In the Mood for Love - Quiet, subtle - like a good poem really. So much communicated with visuals. Arresting cinematography and direction. A good human story about desire and the social constructs of relationships. The power of secrecy and intimacy.

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover - Maddening carnival ride of over the top visuals and insane caustic dialogue, alternated with some of these really achingly beautiful shots and a really good steamy kind of love story. Turns into complete violent chaos later. This whole thing was just fucking bleeding and pulsating with passion and insanity. A story about the claustrophobia of the patriarchy and abuse and the freedom beyond all of that.

Beau is Afraid - There'll be a lot said about this, and it's as extra and over the top as Aster always is. Pushes comedy to the limits by becoming an almost unbearably uncomfortable nightmare at times. Joaquin Phoenix is less a character than a sort of conduit that things just happen to. Stuff just keeps happening and it's all so over the top. The ending does nail the landing of the punchline. It did seem to accomplish what Aster wanted to do.

Evil Dead Rise - Solid ultra-gory horror flick - they pile on the creative haunted-house visuals and the cool urban city setting makes it stand out. There wasn't really much to the characters or story, ultimately I was left feeling like I wanted a little more. But it is good as a high speed goriest.

Man I've heard so much flak against Alien Resurrection it makes me not want to see it. However the completionist in me says to give it a try...

Always watch for yourself. You might a gem.

Saw Evil Dead Rise the other night and really liked it. Really nice to see a horror movie in the theater without anyone screaming etc.
Watched Scream 6 last night... maybe Im just old(42), but Im not really liking these new characters. Really annoying how .

I really wasn't a fan of Evil Dead Rise. It just felt . . . pointless. Don't get me wrong I get that it's an Evil Dead movie so I'm not expecting a cinematic masterpiece, but it just follows the exact story beats that you'd expect in an Evil Dead sequel and does literally nothing else, almost like they got ChatGPT to write the script. The characters were flat/boring/had nothing on Mia or Ash, and the gore wasn't even that great. I guess the lead actress did a decent job in her role, but I'm really struggling to find a single thing about this movie that another movie in the series didn't do better.

Meh, I'll just forget about this one and watch the 2013 one again.

Scream 6 is just another lazily written legacy sequel by a 40something that watches a few hours of CW programming to "get" what the kids are about these days. A handful of good scenes (the aftermath of the first kill, the convenience store, and the subway) can't make up for the rest of the movie feeling like another stock by-the-numbers piece of shit that confuses meta humor with referential humor. That it all concludes with the same dull "HAHA I TRICKED YOU" monologue as the last one did cements that the screenwriter, James Vanderbilt, has such a shallow understanding of why the Craven/Williamson movies worked. Very strong recommendation to avoid. 4/10

Haven't seen 6 yet but I rewatched Scream 3 for the first time in over a decade and it reinforced my opinion it's definitely the worst.

Part 3 didn't give Sidney much to do until the end, which I admit is also a valid criticism of part 5. I found it forgivable in 5 because the first half of that movie is about establishing the Carpenter sisters as new major characters. In 3, though, it just seemed like Gale was the protagonist for the first 75 - 80%. And 3's killer reveal is especially weak.


Not sure if Ehren Kruger's script is totally to blame, but 3 has a general something's 'off' here feel I didn't get from 5 even knowing that movie wasn't written by Kevin Williamson.

From what I remember, 3 was originally going to have a cult of Ghostface followers amassed in Woodsboro, and it would have been a ridiculous number of killers (IIRC, 6-10) that worshipped the killers of the first movie. Then the Columbine shooting happened and the studio decided against a group of high school kids plotting a murder spree, so they scrambled last minute and made what we ended up with.

Yeah maybe that original plot would have been in poor taste given the timeframe. Unfortunately the fallback plan was a tale of predatory moviemakers that ends with Executive Producer: Harvey Weinstein. That's "meta" in the grossest way imaginable.

I never cared much for Scream 2 either but that had the excuse of being rushed into production and released 1 year after the original. They had more time to make Scream 3 and still couldn't avoid the third installment in a (at the time) trilogy being the worst.

Beau Is Afraid, what a fuckin out of it movie. People are gonna love it or hate it, personally I loved it, total trip of a film. Wouldn't really call it a horror, certainly not in the traditional sense but it was horrific and very humorous. Beau definitely had a lot to be afraid of and saying he had some mommy issues would be an understatement!

^ He took three hours for what I have to admit was a great punchline. Brilliant comedy. It was as subtle as a sack of anvils to the face but that doesn't matter.

"as subtle as a sack of anvils to the face". This very line should be elevates into a signature, like, for everybody here...

Just watched From Black. A rip off of A Sad Song. From Black's final scene is less stupid though. Some ridiculous moments for sure, as you cannot survive a movie without them, and also, a Mesopotamian devil who speaks fluent English.

Just saw From Black as well. Really odd case to be so strongly like A Dark Song, which was such an amazing work but not one I really hear about a lot, so intrigued as to how alike they were. But this was a much more drab, straightforward work and didn't seem to have any of the subtlety, layering or wonder of A Dark Song at all, a much more surface level character and plot. Some entertaining parts, but yeah - a head scratcher.

But you must agree the ending was at least much better than the stupid angel kneeling and staring blankly at the protagonist, all radiating and shit...I mean, what the fuck? At least in From Black there was some kind of closure, a painstaking chain of events that finally bore some fruit. The ultimate in sacrifice and redemption.

Loved the ending of A Dark Song. Really nice art piece to sort of create this mood to finish things out in an atmospheric manner. I like things that do not really state it so directly what's happening.

Maybe I'm a simpleton, but I did not understand the ending or the alleged deep layers and depth of A Dark Song. Care to share?

I've re-watched A Dark Song. No clandestine layers or deep meanings were to be found. Sorry.

I thought the characters were really well done and the shifting motives and reveals of what they wanted made it a really interesting experience and movie. It had a lot of magic and occult shit going on but it wasn't really a story about that. I mean I guess if you don't want to call that deep, go ahead... but it was a stunning work to me.

Guy Ritchie's The Covenant: Gut wrenching, nerve wrecking film making at its best. Beautiful, brutal, based-on-true-events superb film showcasing humanity's ugliest as well as its most beautiful facets in one, fucking great movie! Mandatory watch.

This is real exciting to hear.

The Gentlemen was one of the best movies I've seen in years. I'm excited to watch this new one.

Watched Renfield last night. A lot better than expected. Loved the over the top violence, where I literally LOL'd at some parts.

Bones and All - Road trip / love story in which our main couple just happen to be cannibals. Not surprised this has a good IMDB score but I found it too long and kind of pretentious. Which are also valid criticisms of the director's Suspiria remake, although I liked that one for whatever reason. 4 / 10

There's Something Wrong With the Children - Passable 'creepy kids' movie. 5 / 10

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - Not quite as much fun as Nicolas Cage playing himself should be, but worth watching once. 6 / 10

I don't get any of the Keanu hate. I mean, he's far from being a great actor but the guy is really hard to hate.

He is the ultimate one-trick-pony if there's ever been one as an "actor", which he most certainly isn't. And I don't care how nice a guy he is in real life in that context.

On the other hand completely, Jake Gyllenhaal, who's starring in the aforementioned excellent film The Covenant, is one of the best actors out there and I love his performance on almost every goddamn film he has ever participated in, Hollywood or otherwise.

I don't hate either actor, but I've met people that hate Jake Gyllenhaal with the same vitriol that you hate Keanue Reaves.

It's all personal preference. Although, I'm not real picky and the only real horrible actor I can think of I've noticed is the female cop in this Seinfeld episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD7n_p7zAqo

Watching her on camera is completely bizarre and it removes me from whatever's going on.

Don't hate Keanu but I just don't find him compelling on screen...

Jake Gyllenhaal had a stupendous run in the late 2000s to mid 2010s for a while - Zodiac, Prisoners, Enemy, Nightcrawler, just really great stuff. Haven't really seen him in as much for a bit.

It's 2023 and we're debating Keanu as an actor instead of as a personality. Let's set it straight: he's pretty bad, and has been since the early 90s, but that general "blank slate" vibe is why he worked so well in the Matrix series and why the more stoic role of John Wick rocks so much. Plus, he's just such a damn wholesome guy, and there aren't many bad things one could say about him.

Sick (2022] is a lot like Hush in that it perfectly identifies how to make a slasher flick work in the modern era. Taking place during the early days of the COVID pandemic and quarantining craze, three college kids locking themselves in at one's parents' summer home are stalked by a masked killer. This one has little details that make it work, like characters actually needing to charge their damn cell phones and direction that keeps the pace going forward while dropping hints here and there as to the killer's motives. The studios fucked up by not begging Kevin Williamson to continue helming the Scream series if this is what he's capable of in middle age. 7/10

Violent Night (2022) is a beautifully self-aware cheesefest that knows you're here for the gimmick of "Santa Claus vs. the Mercenaries" and delivers with gusto. David Harbour is the flipside of the coin for great modern Santas, with Kurt Russell via Christmas Chronicles on the other side. The Home Alone pastiche is a work of vicious beauty. 7/10

Fast X's after credit scene has been spoiled . Nothing is known besides that. Im sure I'll see it eventually, but theyre never going to stop with these.

Huesara: The Bone Woman - Moody new-style horror of this stripe where they are pulling from some other traditions and cultures to make these kind of reflective, dramatic horror stories - see also La Llorona, Tigers are Not Afraid, His House, etc. All quite good films and this one is too. A woman becomes pregnant and starts seeing horrific ghostly images creeping up on her as her life and relationship begin to unravel. Probably pretty on the nose thematically, but there are a lot of really well done scares and atmospheric parts, and it doesn't feel like it's redundant or cliche. Strong stuff.

The Company of Wolves - Old 80s werewolf flick - maybe one of the better ones I've ever seen actually. Pretty floaty dreamlike story blending together some old fairytales and stuff, but the wolf scenes are just so fucking crazy, cut throat and gory. Just a wonderful feast of mad horror.

The Mirror - I didn't get this one at the time I bought it a few years ago, on a Tarkovsky binge. Always meant to try it again and now I finally found the time. Pretty interesting. Pure arthouse expression. Lots of fluid nonlinear stuff. I don't think I could talk about it like a regular film, and the things it evokes aren't really things leant to easy words. Just raw. These sorts of arty films, there's a stereotype sometimes that you have to be really smart or whatever, but a lot of them are really just about opening yourself up.

Heat - Flawless - just a fucking masterclass in kinetic crime action and the characters are well done and dramatic. Manages to really balance everything so well. Really rich, artful filmmaking and just pulse-pounding action. I hadn't seen this in ages. Won't make that mistake again.

I See You (2019) was a splendid little discovery, for sure. There's a lot going on, to the point where explaining it would come off as word salad, but the end result is so well crafted that I need to seek out more work by director Adam Randall, who handled the film, and its abrupt shift in tone halfway through, masterfully. As to the story itself, a married couple (Helen Hunt and Jon Tenney) are in the midst of estrangement following the wife's affair, all while the husband (a local cop) investigates a string of child kidnappings that match the MO of a convicted killer from 15 years prior.

There is so much tension in the first half, which plays as an above average modern horror flick (Randall clearly blends some of the best 70s elements with a James Wan-like approach), that the slight tonal shift halfway in feels, at first, like a disappointment...but then it becomes compelling in its own right.

Also of note is the performance of Judah Lewis (Summer of '84, The Babysitter), who is an incredibly believable child of impending divorce, and has carved his name out in genre cinema.

6.5/10

Fuck it, I'm adding as brief a synopsis as I can in the spoilers.

Pearl - Didn't like "X," gave this prequel a chance anyway, didn't like this either.

I get what they were doing with the retro fonts and general look, but it started hitting wrong notes for me pretty early and never recovered. Like when


The predictable result didn't shock me. Didn't offend me. Just "this is the kind of thing that's supposed to happen in a horror movie with a disturbed protagonist."

Yeah the monologue near the end was well done, but it was too little too late. 4 / 10

Maybe I don't care for Ti West in general. I'll forgive that Cabin Fever sequel he tried to disown, and my favorite from him is probably House of the Devil which I don't exactly love (probably 6 / 10, 6.5 if I'm feeling generous) and need to be in the right mood for.

To Catch A Killer - Idiotic and superficial with so many holes in the plot you can make a fishing net out of it. I don't even know where to begin, The acting, the superfluous, shallow characters, the dialogues, the cliches, they are all there in heaps.

Was home alone yesterday, bored and after smoking a blunt, I decided to watch the Hellboy reboot on Netflix. And it was not very good. Not utter trash either, but I could sum up the whole thing as 'meh, whatever'. The visuals were great, but that's about the only good thing about it. The Del Toro ones, while a bit overrated, were miles better.

Plane. A pilot has to make a crash landing after a lightning strike kills the plane. It's not a hugely original story but it's competently put together and it's one of Gerard Butler's better movies, especially when compared to the awful Greenland. 7/10.

Just wrote a review of Pan's Labyrinth, and long review short, "del Toro takes his time to build the world here, with the horrors of the rich fantasy elements serving to be almost as disturbing as the stomach-churning violence of the guerrilla warfare outside it, as the two tones compliment each other, and make us sympathize with Ofelia's desperate plight, and yearn for an escape from it right along with her, creating a dark, violent fairy tale that's experienced by a child, but one that holds just as much weight (if not moreso) for the adults watching it": https://letterboxd.com/stusmallz/film/pans-labyrinth/